Congrats to my big sister!

My older sister Miranda signed with Graceland today! She has been through so much with foot injuries and trying to keep playing sports and she hasn't given up. All her hard work is finally paying off! I really admire the person she is and continue to pray for her in Christ! I pray that this is the right school for her! God is so faithful! I am so proud of her! 

I accidentally wore a St. Ambrose shirt, where my other sister goes to school, to her signing:) oops!! 

Waukee girls basketball on to state!

I'm so proud of the girls for pulling out a tough win and making it back to the Well again! They tried so hard and were really passionate. When we are passionate about God we can do more for His kingdom! That's just the way it is passion and dedication=more people knowing about Christ! Things aren't always easy and there are obstacles to overcome but it can happen when we put our whole heart into it! 

Jeremiah 26

As I am working my way through Jeremiah there are many things that have stuck out to me. The way God continues to send prophets to the people of Judah and other places and that they do not listen or repent from evil. God simply and straight forward commands turn from evil and don't worship other gods. Also that people are prophesying in His name in lies. They aren't speaking the truth. I'm not sure if it is to please man, they don't really know God or they are scared of what people will say. I think of this being like when someone says oh well I don't go to church every week because I don't want to be legalistic or someone says they haven't been able to follow The Lord in this way and someone else tells them that's okay or supports the decision and says God forgives or you are young that's okay. Yes there is forgiveness but there is also obedience to Christ that many lack. 

Jeremiah was very obedient to Gods commands. God would tell him exactly what to do, where to do it and what to say. Jeremiah believed in His power and listened and obeyed. He continually told the people to repent and turn from evil and they did not. God kept making him stand in front of people and proclaim His word and the people weren't changing their ways. This would be very disheartening. You feel like you are obeying God and yet you aren't seeing anything happen. Many people give up in times like this. But we have to think why did we start this? Not only did Jeremiah have to deal with their evil he was impacted by it. 

But as soon as Jeremiah finished telling all the people everything the Lord had commanded him to say, the priests, the prophets and all the people seized him and said, “You must die! (Jeremiah 26:8 NIV). 

People were angry. Why? Because when people sin they do more stupid things. Evil leads to more evil. It doesn't eventually turn to good. They were angry that Jeremiah was trying to correct them and tell them they were wrong. They probably felt ashamed and embarrassed so they reacted stupidly and rashly. Well I guess Jeremiah is our problem so lets just get rid of him. No! Your heart is your problem! 

Not luckily but by the power of God, He kept Jeremiah from harms way. Now reform your ways and your actions and obey the Lord your God. Then the Lord will relent and not bring the disaster he has pronounced against you. As for me, I am in your hands; do with me whatever you think is good and right. Be assured, however, that if you put me to death, you will bring the guilt of innocent blood on yourselves and on this city and on those who live in it, for in truth the Lord has sent me to you to speak all these words in your hearing.” (Jeremiah 26:13-15 NIV). Jeremiah continued preaching Gods word and telling the people to turn from evil. He was simply doing what God said. He wasn't selfish and didn't want to protect himself he did as God commanded. God will protect us especially where He leads us. “Did Hezekiah king of Judah or anyone else in Judah put him to death? Did not Hezekiah fear the Lord and seek his favor? And did not the Lord relent, so that he did not bring the disaster he pronounced against them? We are about to bring a terrible disaster on ourselves!” (Jeremiah 26:19 NIV). Because Jeremiah loved a life of truth and love for God he was protected and kept for the glory of God. Unlike Jeremiah who stood strong in the face of evil and the name of The Lord, Uriah was scared and did not believe in Gods power to save. (Now Uriah son of Shemaiah from Kiriath Jearim was another man who prophesied in the name of the Lord; he prophesied the same things against this city and this land as Jeremiah did. When King Jehoiakim and all his officers and officials heard his words, the king was determined to put him to death. But Uriah heard of it and fled in fear to Egypt. They brought Uriah out of Egypt and took him to King Jehoiakim, who had him struck down with a sword and his body thrown into the burial place of the common people.) (Jeremiah 26:20, 21, 23 NIV). 

I can't say it enough but God is a consuming fire and all evil will be swept away in His eyes! Our God saves!!! He will guide us and where He guides He will show His glory and power! He is ready to change this world and we have to be too!! One day all will turn and praise God! 

Money$$$$

Money is such an awkward and perverted thing in this world. It creates anxiety if you don't have any and distracts you from God and if you do have some or have too much it creates pridefulness and selfishness and also takes you away from God. So what is the right answer? I don't believe there is one. Francis Chan is awesome guy that has tons of money and only leaves from what they actually need. He could have a super expensive house but instead has an average or small house. I think about all the clothes I have and how much money has been spent on that. Money gives you a certain reputation. People may think a lot of you or think of you as a doctor or some people may think that they have too much money and it's not fair and they are selfish with it. People with little money it becomes awkward or some look down upon them. We are all equally created in Gods image. Recently we did a fundraiser at school for kids in Africa and whichever class donated the most got jethros for lunch. Well my class was in the lead and I had no problem giving money to that cause because I knew God could use it. When we didn't end up winning people were upset that we didn't win and that they donated money. It becomes so messed up. Everybody is supposed to pay a certain amount for something and not everybody pays it or thinks it's stupid and it becomes drama. 

Levi Lusko briefly talked about money once and said that if you are eating with your friends just all equally pay. Don't get in an argument about well I only had 2 bites of this and you had 75% of it. Just be a loving and kind person that God has called us to be. The way we act even about money reflects the kind of person God has transformed us to be. 

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV). 

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:15-17 NIV). 

Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:9, 10 NIV). 

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” (Acts 20:35 NIV). 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21 NIV). 

I like that it says money is the roots of all kinds of evil. People that tend to have a lot of money tend to think they are set in life and don't need God to save them. They don't accept the need for salvation and the selfishness they have. The more money you have the more you will want. You will never be fully satisfied. You will always want more and more and more! Money brings evil spirits and draws you away from God. If we give our money to loving and helping others we may not have every single thing we want here but we will have many treasures and rewards in Christ. I always loving giving people gifts so much more than receiving. I like getting them but it is so much more fun to care about others and show them your love. 

Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 5:10 NIV). 

Nothing will ever be enough except Gods love and grace. I pray that money does not inflict people's lives negatively but allows them to better serve God. For if your eye causes you to sin cut it off. God is more money than we could ever ask for:). 

Psalm 51

This is a pretty incredible psalm and really shows what our heart to God should be like. We need to acknowledge the true ugliness of our sin. God hates sin more than we can even imagine and He of course forgives us not so that we can keep sinning but so that we can point others to Him. 

I am now on the fourth message of Levi Lusko's series sorry not sorry. Last week was about Saul needing to apologize to David for continuing to hurt him and this week it was about David's sin. One of the things that I find so interesting about this sin is that if he had been doing what he was supposed to be doing he wouldn't even have been tempted to sin. David was supposed to be on the battlefield doing what God gave him to do. Instead he took a nap and then saw Bathsheba naked. Thus began his temptation. He figured out who the woman was and then still decided to seduce her. He got her pregnant and tried to hide it by pretending to be nice to Uriah and then eventually killed him. His motives got all mixed up and in the wrong. 

*After a big win you have to keep your shields up. You can't give up. Satan will attack you when you least expect it. 

It is saddening to think of what David went through and how badly it messed his heart up and turned him away from God. He had to build lie upon lie. His marriage was built on sin. His child was because of sin. His kingdom was therefore hurt by his sin as well. All he had worked for he broke and hurt it from the sin. 

A huge point he made was that you have to ask for forgiveness. I think it is a lot easier to say I am sorry and acknowledge my wrong than actually say "Will you forgive me?"  When you ask them this you acknowledge that you no longer have control and it's up to them. It's really hard because it's out of your control and up to them. You are giving them a choice and the ability to say yes or no. I think this is a very important step and not just to assume forgiveness or say I'm sorry and make them forgive you. God has to work in their heart to forgive you. 

Because David was passionate and that helped him love and serve God and fight for his kingdom satan used it against him. Your best quality can quickly become your worst quality and what causes you to sin. Success can very easily destroy people. The story of David sinning is told in 2 Samuel 11. Sinning just makes you do more and more stupid things. He didn't come clean with God but instead kept sinning. 

1. Apologizing can be costly but it is even more expensive not to. 

There is embarrassment and consequences to coming clean and telling the truth but the longer you hide it the more sinful you come and the more separated from God you become. It will cost you something to do the right thing. Somebody might think really highly of you until they find out who you really are. You lose face with people. It can be really hard and scary to tell the truth but the more you hide it the more it builds up and the more you will lose. In psalm 51 David expresses that it physically hurt him to hold this secret in and was aging him. This sin and secret was tearing him apart. 

2. To see things clearly try your sorry on someone else. 

As humans we can be very self deceptive. We can convince ourselves that when we sin it's not the worst things or isn't really that bad. But then when we look at others if they are doing the same thing it looks so ugly and horrible. We think how could they do that? That is so disgusting and bad. So because we do NEED to apologize we need to think if someone else was apologizing after doing this would you accept this apology? Would it be good enough and from the heart? Would we be satisfied with receiving that apology? If there answer is no or there is a "but" in there you probably need to change it!

3. Your past will haunt you until you let Jesus put it behind you. 

David continued to try to outrun the sin and just hide from it and make sure no one knew. He constantly had to make sure his past didn't catch up to him. This is absolutely no way to live. 

Psalm 32. 

4. God wants to turn your sin into a song. 

From the moment David sinned to when he came clean he did not write another song. He wanted his joy back that he previously had. 

Psalm 51 is really extraordinary and powerful. The way he asks for forgiveness is do amazing! He acknowledges his sin and doesn't just say well you always forgive so here it is. No he cries out to God! He knows he needs his power and it comes through. I really love this chapter and am hoping to dwell in it some more! 

Fresh life church-Levi Lusko sorry not sorry. 

The words I would say

This is a great song also but it made me think about the words I would say to Jesus! The cheesy saying don't say anything unless you have something nice to say. Well would you say it to Jesus if He was standing right there looking you in the face? Now lots of people would be like well none of us are perfect and Jesus isn't here so why would we act like we are talking to Him? He forgives, right? Well knowing how Jesus is and that He died for us, Would you or would you Not say it to Him? If the answer is no then we shouldn't say it. There are so many things Jesus wouldn't want us to say that we do. We are sinful people and don't always have perfect thoughts but how would Jesus feel about us saying it? The point of Christianity is to worship God and become like the thing we are worshipping. We follow a perfect leader and Jesus always knew what to say. He just knew it. We are trying to be like Jesus not the world. Words can impact people so much. They can cause sin, hurt, love, hate, scare, and many other things! 

From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:20, 21 NIV). 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29 NIV). 

But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. (Matthew 15:18 NIV). 

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. (Proverbs 12:18, 19 NIV). 

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. (Proverbs 15:1, 2 NIV). 

The words we say should be love and God alone. Nothing we say should be able to be turned against us. God will give us the words! We think Jesus is great and everyone is made in His image so we should speak lovingly to them also!

Where to go

Where You to I will go, where You stay I will stay, when You move I will move. I will follow. This should be the lifeline of following God. That we don't know where God will take us next week or the day next day or even the next hour. But what matters is that we are submitting to Him and following Him. He will in fact lead us and show us the path He wants us to take. He has a perfect and flawless plan for us. But by our human nature we want control and to make out own choices. We think how could someone else actually know what is best for us better than ourselves. Well God knows our heart better than us. Nothing surprises Him. He is ready to lead us down His path of righteousness. 

I love having plans and knowing where I am going. But with God that changes. He loves having the plan and having control. I am always thinking about the future. I have always said I would go to Drake or St. Ambrose university but this week I realized would either of those colleges actually have great opportunities to strengthen my relationship with Christ? The answer is I still don't know! But God did lead me to look into Northwestern and Dordt universities in Iowa just because they are more Christ centered. But I still don't know where I am going! But the best news is God does:) 

I can get really scared thinking about things and then realize wait God has a plan. It might not be the exact plan I have or want but it is still a great and perfect plan that the One who created me created. He is just altogether worthy and altogether perfect! 

Who are you going to prom with?

I have a dear friend and live in a world that is obsessed with love and romance and being in a relationship. It's all about identity and reputation. Sophomores aren't even aloud to go to prom unless they have an upperclassman date. I am not concerned about it. It is easy not to be tempted when nothing is tempting us and we just have to know in our hearts what is right. But when it comes to suddenly having to stand up for yourself in Christ it becomes more difficult. There are so many questions coming at you. Why aren't you going to prom? If someone asked you would you say yes? We all have dates why don't you? Then it can start to become a battle from within. Satan tempts you and tells you lies. The world is so obsessed with making sure you either are doing all the wrong things or feeling bad that you aren't. Can Jesus truly be my date? Am I okay with that? How can I have normal relationships with guys that aren't sinful or awkward? I need to be content and confident in the strength of Jesus and fill myself in a life of Him! Not just to fill it but to truly change my life to be a light for Christ. Once I get my license I am hoping to start a bible study with girls that don't have leadership in their life and just to be a friend to them! This could be girls from my school or refugee girls that need to be led in this life! And if my heart is right with God it can be with others too. I just don't want people to even question who I am except a daughter of God! They shouldn't need to say why does she do that or why does she act like that? I just want them to know it's because of Christ. Everything I do should be because of Him! God may lead me to have normal relationships or even a "prom date" next year but no matter what it will be done for the name of Christ. That's all that matters. The way I dress, the effort I put into things, the way I love people should all reflect my love for God and obedience to Him! He is so very very faithful! I want to obey Him! Being His child I am called to obey Him but I also want to!! Almighty God I trust in You and You alone!

Stick a needle in your spine-Levi Lusko

Because of the early out yesterday and no school today I have had great time with God! I got to listen to Levi's third message in the series sorry not sorry. Once again God blessed it and spoke through him. This message he focused on Saul and David's relationship. Saul was the one who looked like he was meant to be king. David was short and herded sheep. Eventually God knew it was supposed to be David's kingdom and that he had a right heart towards God and Saul did not. The majority of his message is 1st Samuel 18-26. He narrates what happens and how Saul continued to be angry and even try to kill David. David was so patient and loving in his life. Even the smallest tasks he was assigned he did it all the way for God. He worked very hard in Gods name. He wanted to give 100%. If we can be trusted with small things we can be trusted with big things as well. David continued to be obedient to what God called him to and never gave up. David respected Saul as the king and cared about him and loved him. All the times Saul tried to kill David, David loved him and forgave him. Saul would say sorry and would acknowledge his wrong but he didn't actually change. He did the exact same thing again. 

So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats. He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’ ” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord ’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way. Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. He said to Saul, “Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’? This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord ’s anointed.’ See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you. “Against whom has the king of Israel come out? Who are you pursuing? A dead dog? A flea? May the Lord be our judge and decide between us. May he consider my cause and uphold it; may he vindicate me by delivering me from your hand.” When David finished saying this, Saul asked, “Is that your voice, David my son?” And he wept aloud. “You are more righteous than I,” he said. “You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly. You have just now told me about the good you did to me; the Lord delivered me into your hands, but you did not kill me. So David gave his oath to Saul. Then Saul returned home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold. (1 Samuel 24:2-18, 22 NIV). 

Saul apologized and apologized. And yet he kept doing the same thing. 

So Saul went down to the Desert of Ziph, with his three thousand select Israelite troops, to search there for David. (1 Samuel 26:2 NIV). 

Saul again seemed out to kill David. And David rebuked him but did not kill him. Then Saul said, “I have sinned. Come back, David my son. Because you considered my life precious today, I will not try to harm you again. Surely I have acted like a fool and have been terribly wrong.” (1 Samuel 26:21 NIV). He said he will try. We can't promise to be perfect as humans but we can promise to try. We can take away anything that will tempt us. If our job gets in the way of a relationship we should get rid of the job we can give up our phone. Anything necessary to stop us from sinning. In chapter 26 when he promised to David he actually kept the promise. He later killed himself. He did not sin again against David. 

Most people would be happy that Saul killed himself after he sinned against him. But David was sad and wept. He grieved. Saul spent the majority of his life fighting the wrong enemy. The enemy was not David it was his heart. The sin starts in our heart. Not other people. 

*When it comes to saying sorry there has to be change afterwards. Do we live differently after?

We have to change. How much we fight to change shows the sincerity of our apology. If we don't fight or care at all it doesn't seem like we really care. Crocodile tears are an example of this. Crocodiles kill an animal and are eating it and cry. Not because they are sad just because they are made that way. They do the same exact thing later. They aren't repenting. When we see we can't have fake apologies. We have to be sincere and care that we sinned. 

1. If there is no follow through it will be déjà vu. 

Saul apologized many times and many times did the same exact thing. They kept going through the same thing. 

In golf if you don't follow through you have to start decelerating before you even get to the ball. Before we even get to newness we will be back in sin. We fall back to the same thing. 

“No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11 NIV). 

2. You can't guarantee perfect but you can give radical attention. 

We as humans aren't perfect. But we can give all of our hearts to try!

Attention is defined as special care. 

Romans 13

You have to kill sin or it will kill you. 

We have do everything we can in our strength from God to prevent sin. 

3. Don't just show the change you gotta say it. 

We have to be honest. We need accountability. We have to tell people we need their help. We have fallen but need help. 

4. Behavior modification is powerless without heart transformation. 

We tend to focus on the outside when the inside is the real problem. 

You can't just pluck away away the fruit from the tree you have to pull out the root. And only a powerful source can pull out the root. 

We focus on damage control and try not to have too many consequences. We don't actually care that we sinned. 

We need to hate what we did and what it did to others.

With a strong passion we have to HATE sin. It destroys people. 

We have to be changed from within. 

God is really using these messages a lot in my life! I am really enjoying them! 

The rapidness of sin

The last 2 days it has been so beautiful and close to 50 degrees! Suddenly today it is cold and is a blizzard and just horrible. It sucked to walk out to my car after school and sucked to drive in. It is of course beautiful because its Gods creation but can be dangerous and hurtful! It happened so fast. It just all made me think about sin. Our walk with God can be so beautiful. It can also be so quickly turned around and into a blizzard. 

God leads us down a path of righteousness and safety. To protect us and lead us to Him. God created this world for us. He created things like school for our good, flowers, phones, and He even created love and closeness for good between marriage. These things can all turned into sin though. They can be horrible things that turn our lives upside down. They bring a storm into our lives. It can be so sudden and we don't even realize it at the time but as soon as we give into temptation we give into pain and hurt. 

We can do so many things that seem right and pointing our lives to God and then one wrong thing can be so destructive. It feels like a storm and changes out life. Just like a storm can be very dangerous and hurt people so can our sin. It can even kill people perhaps if we are addicted to drinking and drink and drive. It can hurt people and change their lives. There is never ever a right moment to sin. It always hurts others or ourselves. Always. It can be so sudden and we never see sin coming. We can live a perfect life and then do one thing not for God. Do we still have a perfect life then? No. If Jesus had sinned one time He wouldn't have been perfect and been our King. Sin is a storm that won't end until we hand it over to God. Even then our sin is still possibly hurting others. Once you do it you can't take it back. 

Even things that are meant to be beautiful can be turned into sin and seek and kill us. What can be beautiful can also be sin.

It is crazy hurtful to realize how horrible sin is. God hates sin more than we can ever know. Sin is so ugly and horrible. Sin deserves the punishment of death. Sometimes we sin and don't even know it. God is there to save us. Sin makes me want to cry. I know this girl who last week sinned and the way she talked about it and had no idea she sinned is so sad. There is an incredible amount of sin in this world and no one is acknowledging it! We should fall at Gods feet and beg for forgiveness! 

There is so much sadness in this world that God can take away! 

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I gave an account of my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law. I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have broadened my understanding. Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees, that I may follow it to the end. (Psalm 119:25-33 NIV). 

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV). 

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. (James 4:17 NIV). 

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Proverbs 28:13 NIV). 

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:7-9 NIV). 

I want to be a light in this world and sin to be no more. Jesus came to save us and that He did. I don't want sin to take over my life or those I love. Sin doesn't have to happen. He is there for us. 

Sweetly Broken

I love this song! It is always one that can hit my heart and make me cry out to God! I just love the lyrics and the way he sings it. Draw me gently to my knees at the cross you beckon me. We have to be at our cross and acknowledge our sin and repent and do the hard thing. When we realize how sinful we are we can truly be broken and humbled. There isn't a certain time in our lives that we should be broken but it should be all the time. We are sinful people and that never changes but God is just and He DOES love us. And He has a better plan for us. I have been reading in Hebrews I think 8 and it talks a lot about the covenant. Think about how much God gave us through Jesus dying. We are no longer dead but alive and because of the cross we are broken and able to repent from our sin and change our ways. Jesus died for us and so many people can forget that but it is important to remember that every day and remember all He gave up for us. Is it really that hard to give our lives over to our perfect creator? He made us! He brought His son to death to create a new and blessed life for us. There should be so much heart and spirit it when we think of the cross! It is truly just overwhelming. There is nobody better to live for especially not ourselves. We want sin. We want the world. God wants His glory to be shown and our lives to point to Him! We need to be broken for that to happen. We have to realize we will fail on our own. And even if people think they have a perfect life without God they will realize one day how great God is! 

The song At My Feet just came own and it is saying I lay my life down at your feet and talking about forgiveness and newness. There is no where else to be than at Jesus' feet. It talks about laying the past, the present and the future down. There is nothing to keep back from God. He deserves control and He leads every step. I just want to constantly be broken and know my sin and be humbled by that. And that if I didn't have God I would be sinning even more. I just want God in my soul and it not to be mixed with all the things of this world. I want Him to truly be everything in my life! He is there for me and I want Him. I am freed by Him and I will continue to be every single day of my life. 

Even for Jeremiah in Jeremiah 20 he was sad and knew it was hard and was sick of being abused for Christ but he did it. We have to do it. There is no other choice. God has called us to higher and greater things. 

Jesus isn't just in my life, He is my life

My math notebook has various notes that have gone through pieces of paper and they are all about Jesus:). I look at my notebook and I see the words Jesus, God, faithful, good, saves, blessed, plans, and forever!! There are so many words that can cheer my day up! Not to be legalistic or have a checklist but I think it is so important to spend more time with God in a day than say my appearance or grades. There are some days where we are just really busy and you don't have as much time as you would like but what is important is that Jesus is with you in every step! You feel Him in your heart and mind and He is leading every action you take. It's important that even if we have a busy day that that does not draw us away from God. But that we can be content in Him no matter what happens. He is always there for us and we should always be there ready. In Jeremiah 18 this morning I was reading about the potter. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. (Jeremiah 18:6 NIV). We are the clay and He is the potter. This is one of my most favorite truths of the bible. But what has to happen to the clay first for God to use it? Well it can't be molded and set in stone and hard. It HAS to be broken. God can use us when we our broken. I feel free from sin that I struggled with for long amounts of time and that always me to be so much more free to love God and spend quality time with Him! I have been able to read the Word more and just more time to actually connect with Him while I am praying! It has done my spirit so well. God works when we are humbled and submitted to Him! He is so great! 

I don't want there to just be scriptures hung up in my room or to go to church on Sundays or have a bible verse to be on my phone. I want God to be dwelling inside of me and working constantly! I want my life to point others to Him. I want to be humbled and repent from my sin so I can lead others to Christ. God will use me if I am loving Him right! 

Find your spine

I got to listen to Levi's second message in the series sorry not sorry last night! Once again it was great! I loved the scripture his message was based on. Genesis 44. It's the story of his 10 brothers hating him and selling Joseph into slavery. Joseph was the favorite son of Jacob and was meant to lead. His brothers were sick of this and turned against him. Joseph was put in jail in Egypt and instead of having self pity and negativity He praised God and said God you put me in this place what do I do now? He continued to serve God and be faithful to God and not give up. He did Gods work. God proved faithful and made him second in charge in Egypt. While everyone else was in starvation Joseph was being used by God and was storing up his reward. His brothers on the other hand were plagued by guilt and were constantly worried about being found out about and had a filthy conscience. They knew it. When we do something wrong and we don't admit to it we live in it. There is no other solution but to come clean! That is the ONLY option. It was not easy for Joseph to keep serving God. He was hurting, he missed his family, people were against him. But he took up his cross and put Jesus first. This is such an extraordinary story and the great news is, it's true! So often we get caught up thinking God just threw us into the world with no guide when really there are so many relevant stories in the bible that actually happened. Chances are we aren't being murdered or put in jail but it could happen for Jesus and is worth it for Jesus! 

Not only did Joseph live a life for Jesus, he got to see his brothers again and forgave them. He didn't hold it against them. 

They said to one another, “Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come on us.” Reuben replied, “Didn’t I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn’t listen! Now we must give an accounting for his blood.” They did not realize that Joseph could understand them, since he was using an interpreter. He turned away from them and began to weep, but then came back and spoke to them again. He had Simeon taken from them and bound before their eyes. Joseph gave orders to fill their bags with grain, to put each man’s silver back in his sack, and to give them provisions for their journey. After this was done for them, they loaded their grain on their donkeys and left. At the place where they stopped for the night one of them opened his sack to get feed for his donkey, and he saw his silver in the mouth of his sack. “My silver has been returned,” he said to his brothers. “Here it is in my sack.” Their hearts sank and they turned to each other trembling and said, “What is this that God has done to us?” (Genesis 42:21-28 NIV). 

Joseph knew God called him to forgive and act in a Godly way to lead his brothers to Christ and let God work. He had to be patient. He didn't yell at them and he didn't accuse them. He just loved them and forgave them. They tried to kill him and get rid of him and yet he accepted them back. Then once Jacob died the brothers thought they would surely be killed or let to of by Joseph. But Joseph did not do that. He loved them and blessed them through Christ. Judah also changed his ways from when he wanted to sell Joseph to when they saw Joseph again. He was renewed in God and was a new person. 

Here are the four main points from his message. 

1. If you did anything wrong you did it 100% wrong. 

Somebody else might have been involved but you did it 100% on your own. There is not justifying to sin. It's all sin. You don't have to take full responsibility for the right just for what you did. Yes I did cheat, yes I did steal, yes I did lie. You did it 100% not 70%. Nobody can force you to sin. You can be tempted by others but the sin is all on you. 

2. They didn't get hurt you hurt them. 

It isn't the other persons fault that they got hurt. It's your fault. Our actions lead to hurting other people and we have to take responsibility for that. We can't say why are you upset about this or well you did this to provoke me so I had no choice to sin so really is your fault not mine. They arent jealous you were unfaithfulNo we hurt other people when we sin. It doesn't stay contained. Sin hurts. 

3. Do everything you can to make it right. 

We need to have Godly sorrow and let God work to change things. No matter how we start off God can always change things and make for a better ending. It's not to say just live your life in guilt or trying to make up for your sin but just to change! You have to change and repent! You can't ask for forgiveness and then do the same thing. God will work on the relationship but we have to change and dedicate our hearts to Him! 

4. Walk in forgiveness don't wallow in it. 

Don't beat yourself up for something Jesus already took a beating for. He died for our sin so that we don't have to. We don't have to live in punishment. But the thing about this rule is we can't keep sinning. Ever! God forgives. He has a plan for us and He will make the perfectly come true even if we don't see it right now. He is able! 

These messages are so good! I have really enjoyed them and have changed my heart towards sin and forgiveness. I think about people I have held grudges against and even if they aren't sorry God calls me to forgive. 

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13 NIV). 

Elisabeth Elliot

I have now read 2 of Elisabeth Elliot's books- Through Gates of Splendor and Let me be a Woman. She is a very special woman and I love the story of her life! The way she lived is truly amazing and her writing has deeply impacted me. Elisabeth lost her husband to the Aucas who hated white men and then she lived with them. She knew when she fell in love with that man and she took it to God. She dedicated her marriage to fully being of God. She knew what marriage was like and was giving up her selfish or just loving desires to better serve God. I really enjoyed her book and that she acknowledged what it takes to be a woman of God. God assigned women to a special task. We have a different role than men and we need to be that and not try to be something else. God made us specially for Him! I really like the way she addressed marriage and how it needs to be cherished and well taken care of. God can do so much with a marriage and wants to. He creates a deep trust and love. People are sinners and need to be forgiven she also addresses. We also will not always get along because there are distint differences between men and women. Each is used by God differently. Her book taught me a lot and I am not near getting married right now. The way she addresses women should be is very unique and important. God will use us how He wants to. Look at Elisabeth's life, she obeyed God and was a woman. God can do great things with anyone. This book was really encouraging and I think all women single and married should read it. She talks about why God made certain people and how He has made them. Just as we are to submit ourselves to God our Heavenly Father wives should to their husbands. Because God has made men first and stronger. They are meant to be the provider and women are meant to be the women! I really enjoyed this book!

Sorry not sorry-Levi Lusko

Last night I got a chance to listen to a really great message from fresh life church preached by Levi Lusko. I listened to the first message of the series and am hoping to listen to the second one today. He talks a lot about the art of the apology and just the words he spoke were really from God and from his heart. It was a really special message to me and impacted me in tremendous ways! First thing I am going to summarize from it is the 3 things that are required in an apology. They are responsibility, regret and remedy. He brings up genesis 3 the first time in history anybody needed to apologize. Adam and Eve sinned and they hid from God. They knew what they did was wrong and they were scared to be seen by Him and didn't want to have to tell them what they did. Of course God knows our sin the moment we do it but there is still confession that needs to take place. Instead of doing the easy thing and telling God they decided to hide as most humans do and not tell the truth. It makes it a whole lot worse when you do hide because then you also have to explain why you hid it and lied and why you sinned. When we sin we need to run to Jesus. If we do hide it we will constantly have dread and fear and wonder if people will find out. I have experienced this before and it is not fun at all. You are looking over your shoulder, hiding your phone, wondering if you accidentally sent the wrong text, and it is just endless. The lies just continue to build up and hurt people more and more. Not only do you then have to apologize for your sin but also for your lying. You just keep losing more and more trust. Levi says something that is really funny but true, he said that God is the worst person ever to play hide and seek with. This is so true! God should be the ambulance that we run to and seek help from. God knows our sin and we need His help! We need to turn to Him before we sin so that we don't have to battle the rest of the mess. The pile will just keep building with who your sin hurts. 

Proverbs 16 is really great to go along with this message and talk about plans and letting God ordain your steps. We need His righteousness. 

By our nature we will sin and we need to come clean about it. We can NOT live in the darkness and hide it. God will reveal the truth. Just as when Adam and Eve ate from the tree they were NOT supposed to, God found them and exposed their sin. They tried to cover it with fig leaves but God still knew. God asked them and Adam blamed it on the woman, He created and gave to her. It wasn't his fault and he didn't apologize. The woman blamed it on the serpent and why would God put a serpent in the garden? They never took responsibility for it themselves or said I won't do it again. They just kept going with their lives acting like they found the solution themselves with the fig leaves. Btw fig leaves are some the itchiest form of leaves. But they thought they had it under control and didn't need God to fix it. We do that so much where we think we can fix it on our own and don't need Gods help. We ALWAYS need His help. Another interesting point Levi made is that in Mark 11 Jesus cursed the only tree ever and that was a fig tree. 

With the fig leaves they tried to cover their sins and not actually come clean and repent. They just wanted to cover it up so they appeared okay. They weren't actually honest or repent. They just found a worldly solution. Levi made the analogy it is like a dishwasher only cleaning the outside of the cup and leaving the inside filthy. Well our inside is what is most important just as we drink out of the inside of the cup. God needs to clean us and we need to let Him! We need to be made new! 

The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. (Genesis 3:21 NIV). This is the first sign of the Cross taking place. God killed sheep and made leather for them and this was the first sign of blood. He sacrificed something else so that they didn't have to die. They should've died right there on the spot but God protected them. This is His working to make us clean. He was constantly making plans to save His people. Not because we are perfect but because He cares about us. 

Finally when someone apologizes and they say "I am so sorry BUT you did this or I didn't have a choice or you provoked me" it's not really an apology. When you apologize and have the word but in there you only truly believe what comes after the but and not before. You aren't really sorry, you are going to keep sinning or it's that persons fault. When we apologize we need to take responsibility. Yes satan wants us to sin and fall but we are the one that makes the final choice to give into sin and not be strong enough in our faith. Not only do we need to take responsibility we need to be sorry for our sin and full of remorse. We should not be happy that we got to sin but instead be sad that we fell but rejoice that God will save us. We need to have Godly sorrow that we sinned and fell but be renewed in Christ. How do we fix this sin? We don't just cover it up but we clean it. We take a shovel and dig that sin out. It needs to be washed white as snow. When God is in our apologizes we are truly asking for forgiveness. 

I really enjoyed this message and it deeply impacted me. God gave this to me at the right time and will forever change my heart towards sin. I can't wait to listen to the rest of the series! Here is a link to the message! http://freshlifechurch.com/teachings/teaching_page.php?id=1747

Senior night!

I love my sister and I love getting to serve and love her! As much work as senior night was this year and how I feel like I might not have gotten everything the way I should've and people doing what is right, it is a blessing to love people. I knew it meant a lot to the girls and it is selfish to make it all about me and not focus on others. Somebody told me once everything isn't about me and I was like ewww I can't believe you just said that! But I think about that often now and realize I need to take myself out of the situation and see how God is working in the situation. I think about the things I say to people and how it might not affect me but they could take it totally differently. Or if I am in a bad mood and don't say hi to anyone or smile like usual how much it could actually impact their day. It's not that they care so much about me it's the light that shines through me that can change them. I am not going to change their lives but God will and I can lead them to Him! It is so important to continue to love people and not give up on them or their relationship with Christ. I don't want people to hate me but ultimately I want them to love God and realize their need for salvation. I don't need to be #1 on everyone's list and I shouldn't be...God should. The love of God needs to shine through everything I do and say and if it doesn't we have a problem! 

We had a great time decorating the locker room and surprising the senior girls! It is such a blessing to get to love others. That's the way it should be. It shouldn't be made about the world and polluted by others but let God take control. Certain people may not have been involved but the girls and other people that have been involved I need to love. It didn't work out exactly how I wanted it but it did happen exactly how God wanted it to and I hope I loved that people that He wanted me to! I am so thankful for the opportunity I have in all of these people's lives to show Christ. God is taking them somewhere and I trust Him with it! He is so faithful and has never let me down. I have let Him down but He continues to restore me and be the same yesterday today and forever! Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ! It brings me joy to know I am serving God and being loving to others even if nobody else is to that person. It's God's command. 

Ephesians 4

Last night I was really saddened and had a lot of anger about people and just was not enjoying my life. I was not turning to God I was just dwelling in my anger. Then I decided to find God answer in the Word and I found it in Ephesians 4. It really struck my heart perfectly. There is so much depth and truth in this passage that I think many christians often ignore. Paul has been humbled, He is literally in chains for the gospel and I am sure it sickens him that other professing christians go on sinning and not repenting of their ways. The people are not fully living for Christ or turning their ways to Him. Imagine Paul's sadness with all that is in the world after Jesus came to save the people. I love how he says bearing with one another in love. It's not always easy to stick by people or have them in our lives but it is so important to do it in love and have the love from God enable us to love others. It is definitely not easy but God commands us to do it. He doesn't tell us to turn against people or to be rude to them if they are believers or not, He tells us to love them. I believe when we are humbled it is so much easier to love people and support them. Because we know we aren't perfect and neither are they. We are all made in Gods image but are not perfect. When we are connected to the spirit and have God dwelling in us it gives us a peace and allows His light to shine through us. There is only one God but He is a great one and He came to save us. He died for our sins and people thought they were destroying them but instead they brought Him to the highest place He could go. Jesus died to take away our sins but also to give us gifts and bless us more as if taking away death for us isn't enough! God loves us more than we even know. Christ knew that we needed saved and people needed to know how deep our Fathers love for us is. Him dying gave us the spirit to be able to tell others about Him and spread the word of God. Not so we can be selfish and keep it to ourselves but so that everyone can know about Him and become mature in Christ. As believers we are constantly yearning to know more about Him and reach Him. Through His death we can be content and be strong in our faith and not easily deceived by satan. We will walk in Him and for Him and that is our whole life's purpose. When people are rude to us or not acting as followers of Christ should it can be very very hard to love and forgive. But instead when we turn to God, He gives us the power to forgive and act in love and not dwell in anger and sadness. He gives us the words to speak and the love in our hearts. When we do this we become more like God. We make God angry with our sin but because His love is so deep for us He forgives us. We can not worship God without loving each other. If there is resentment or hate in our hearts we can't teach others about God or build each other up. We need to all work together to be united in Christ and teach others about Him. If believers are fighting what kind of witness is that to nonbelievers? We will have problems but we have to obtain strength from God to reconcile that in our hearts. We can't let sin take over our lives and as verse 18 says garden our hearts. It is very easy to go into darkness but our faith has to be stronger than our flesh and fight the temptation. When we give into sin we choose it over God and mix our hearts with the world and allow satan to attack. But if we say no and keep saying no we will be stronger in our faith and won't even feel it as much when he attacks anymore. Jesus didn't come to save us to let us keep sinning and then ask for forgiveness. He came to have us die to our old selves and be born new again. This time without sin and into a path of righteousness. Fighting the good fight. In this God changes out mind and the way we think and how we act and love others. Maybe in the past we would swear or drink or have hateful thoughts toward others but God refreshes us and puts in us His spirit! 

“In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, (Ephesians 4:26 NIV). Don't let anger lead you away from God or to sin. This is such a wonderful verse. My anger has caused me to have hateful thoughts and just giving up and not loving and gossiping about other people but last night I realized I can't keep letting satan use this against me. I may think well it's not like I am saying it to their faces or really doing anything that bad but I am not building them up in love! We have to let God use our sin to transform our lives and lead others to Christ and teach them His ways! We can't let satan win. Become excited about serving God and refreshed in Him! 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29 NIV). 

This scripture just speaks for itself. People will hurt us and sin against us but we have to let God deal with them and change their hearts and not lead them away from God with hatred. God has forgiven us again and again...we need to too! This chapter is really great and allows reworking in my heart and me to get rid of anger and replace it with love and turn to God and His ways and not my own. I would speak badly of people and not love them or care about them but God calls me to higher ways and better ways! He is so great! I really loved this chapter! 

Understanding Gods plan

One of the first bible verses I ever memorized was, For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). We have to understand this verse and Gods plan to be able to seek Him. If we don't trust that He has a perfect plan and place then we can't do His work. It becomes hard to tell others about Him and be a witness. I am a person that loves to plan things out and know exactly what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. I like to be in control of the situation. It can be very hard for me to let go and release control. This hinders my relationship with God and tells Him that I don't completely trust Him. It says even though He created me and everything in this world I don't trust that He can create a path of righteousness for me. Part of Gods plan requires following His commands and obeying them to the fullest. There are certain situations that I don't understand in my life right now and feel as though I can't do anything about and that is okay. God is there for me and He always will be. I just need to keep genuinely caring about people and not having any hatred in my heart. For Gods plan to prevail perfectly we have to seek Him and trust Him. And if we trust Him we will obey Him. 

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NIV). 

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV). 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV). 

Somebody asked me at my school yesterday if I was going to go into mission work. I said well I believe every christian is called to do some sort of mission work but I do not know if I will be a missionary. He told me that he was in Haiti and God just suddenly put it on His heart a passion to be a preacher and missionary. God will provide our steps and show us the way. He doesn't just say oh trust me, He gives us reasons to trust Him and show the way. Elisabeth Elliot didn't know why God let her husband die and then called her to live with those very people but she still trusted Him. Just because something goes wrong in our lives does not mean we turn away from God. Sometimes that is my first thought but then I realize satan is being deceptive. Why should I listen to this. God is the one that will actually provide the way. Somebody does something to you the automatic response as humans is to stop loving them and complain about them. I have been experiencing this and it has been really hard on my heart. It is so easy to go and talk to other people about it and let your feelings out but usually unless it is with another trusted christian is it actually fruitful or of God. We don't have to get along perfectly with everybody but in accordance to the scriptures God calls us to love everyone as Him. 

God has a much better plan than we could EVER dream of. He can use the worst things in our lives to make the best. He is really cool in that way! I always say He wants to bless us. He is constantly remaking our plans as our sin interferes. He doesn't want us to sin but He can use it for our good. God is faithful and I trust Him. 

Stress

This week has been a week where I feel like I have gone from one thing to another and just been constantly moving around. It is good for me to stay busy as I am usually less tempted to sin but the thing I have been lacking is drawing myself closer to The Lord. In the last week we have had 4 basketball games and a 5th tonight which is also senior night. We have lost 3 of those our only losses for the season. I have been at a loss for words for what to say to the girls because I haven't been praying for them as much or spending time in His word. I just have to be a light in whatever way I can and love people. Just being happy and having the joy of The Lord can make a huge difference in people's lives! Yesterday I woke up at 6 and left at 7 and did not get to go home until 10:30. God is faithful though and He provides rest. The thing not to do is have self pity and dwell in my sorrows and live in the past. I need to acknowledge my sin and pray for forgiveness and be drawn to Gods heart but ultimately I need to keep going in His name! People may not act exactly how you want them to or do the simple things or do what you ask but that does not mean tonight I need to be mad at them and treat them any differently than any other person made in Gods image. I also can not expect people not of God to follow my every wish or act as a christian should. I don't want there to be a stereotypical way for christians to behave or certain things to say because that is not God. On valentines day I think I should be rejoicing in loving others with the love God gave me! People that don't know God can't know pure joy and I should be sad about that and doing everything I can to teach them about God and Him dying for us! Where I live people can get so caught up in thinking that money, and sports provide for us and that we are so much better than everyone else and we don't have sin. Where some people just know they sin! I know I sin and I have been very humbled by that this week. I don't want that to suddenly go away though and go back to having a proud spirit or thinking I am great. That can be my struggle that then I can compare myself to people at my school and say well I live better than this and that person. God doesn't care about my heart in comparison to others He compares about my heart to Him! He is so faithful. When I am weak He is strong. When I don't understand something He does. I don't see it right now, but He does! God is faithful! I love Him so! I need His strength today! 

Obedience

Obedience seems like it would be such a simple thing but it can really be hard in certain areas. If we aren't being obedient in every area are we really trusting God to control our lives and know what is best? People always tell us what to do and what is best for our lives but God truly knows what is best and WILL guide us. It is very hard and doesn't feel good. If we don't have the will to obey out soul and flesh may not really be broken and submitted to God. We have to acknowledge our imperfectness and take delight in His perfectness and trust Him. He created us and this world, He obviously knows what is best. When He tells us to read His word, He knows we will benefit from it and be blessed by it and it will draw us closer to Him. He tells us to love others because it is a witness to Him and makes our hearts full of joy and it is really loving Him. The things we say we need to be careful with how they impact others and would we want everyone to hear them or is it private. Should we really be saying it? If we have to question it the answer is probably no. God knows what is best, He does all the hard work. We just have to trust Him. He is pretty smart and knows how satan will attack us. God wants us to repent and change our ways. He is so good. This morning it even annoyed me because somebody parked horribly next to me and for some reason it just like really frustrated me, it's such a silly stupid thing but I still need to act in love. 

“If you love me, keep my commands. (John 14:15 NIV). 

I can be such a hypocrite and tell everyone else to do something or say I love God and then not follow through with it. I need to love God more than I love my flesh and the temporary pleasures. I constantly think I can't just do something so the end goal is to end up in heaven and that is a better alternative than hell but I need to do it out of pure love for God and because I love Him I want to obey Him. 

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16 NIV). 

Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! (Acts 5:29 NIV). 

Think how repeatedly in the Old Testament God delivered His people and they kept their ways and crafted idols with their own hands. God has saved me and saved me from a lot worse and I will not let myself fall back into sin. 

In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. (1 John 5:3, 4 NIV). 

I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands. Though the wicked bind me with ropes, I will not forget your law. At midnight I rise to give you thanks for your righteous laws. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. (Psalm 119:60-62, 66-68 NIV). 

Psalm 119 is crazy powerful and so full of Gods heart! It breaks my heart to think how much more I could and should be following Him! He is so good! Lord I just need your help to obey You and repent and continue to set my heart on You! 

Idols taking over our lives

Idols are something that are on my heart frequently as we don't realize how much they are taking over our lives and how easily they do it. Satan is so deceptive and knows exactly how to trick us. Some people are more grace based and others are more legalistic. I don't know which one is better I think both have their positives and negatives. But I think those that are legalistic can be a lot better about saying no to sin and what is right and wrong. I think I myself need to get stronger in being legalistic. Satan knows exactly the things that can trick us and how to turn us away from God slowly. He doesn't necessarily do it all at once but over time hardens our hearts to God. There is so much evil in sin. Yesterday I realized how evil I really am and have not repented in some areas of my life and the damage it has caused. God knows what He is doing and He gives us certain commands for a reason. He may not give specifics but sin is sin. It is against God and that will never change. I have been thinking about it as if there is a god of money a god of sex or a god of alcohol. We have to hate sin so much to not want to do it no matter what it is. When we sin we are not acknowledging the great power of God and His glory. He doesn't deserve that. The other people that are affected by our sin in no way deserve it. 

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I gave an account of my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law. I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws. (Psalm 119:25-30 NIV). We don't sin in a vacuum. It affects people and will catch up to us. 

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV).  

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. (James 4:17 NIV). 

All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. (Isaiah 64:6 NIV). 

We need to call on the name of The Lord every single day. Not just once, not just before we die, but we need to every day. He is worthy of it. We are not worthy of Him. One choice of sin can cause so much damage. Our hearts need to be centered on God and the less we will be tempted. God is almighty!

Christ-centered

My heart is really broken before God right now but in an awesome way. He is working in me and I changing my heart and I am allowing Him to be the potter. I have a peace from Him and I know He will be faithful. He is always faithful. He knows the correct path for my life and for others lives and I can't try to micromanage it anymore. I am not in control. My soul is so broken and allow the Spirit to just flow in. He is working in awesome ways already and I can feel His presence. I want everything I do to revolve around Him and every person I love to feel God and know that I am doing it in His name. If I am not doing it in His name everything I am doing is for nothing. You can't change a bowl that is already hard and complete. We will never be complete on this earth. He has to break the hard shell and continue to mend it and make changes. The changes aren't easy to feel and allow God to do but He has to do it and it makes our faith stronger. He is the master of me I am not. 

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8 NIV). 

“Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destroy me? Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again? Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit. (Job 10:8-12 NIV). 

You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, “You did not make me”? Can the pot say to the potter, “You know nothing”? (Isaiah 29:16 NIV). 

We know nothing. God knows exactly what He is doing and when He is doing it and why. He knows why He lets certain things happen and He is the One that can fix them. He is all powerful. When we are broken and allowing Him to change us we are more centered around Him and in tune with what He wants us to do and where He wants us to go. 

I have hurt people and people have hurt me. Christ forgives and He wants us to have Godly sorrow but not guilt and anxiety over it. That is not really giving it to God. That is saying this is how I feel and you can't take that away from me. If He can take away the sin of the world I am pretty sure He can take away our feelings and give us a spirit of grace to walk and abide in. That does not mean to right back to sin and doing what you did before because there is grace. Every single relationship we have needs to be focused and directed to Christ. That isn't to say we can't enjoy relationships it means we give it to God and allow Him to do what He wants with that relationship and work how He will. God is control. I don't only just want Him for now when I need something I want to let my life be a broken mess that Christ continues to smooth and refine. 

Dying to sin

The bible tells us that we are slaves to sin and born into sin. This doesn't mean we have to sin though when we turn to Christ we receive a new spirit that will guide us and take us down a path of righteousness. This doesn't imply that we are bound to never sin again it means it should be easier not to sin and we can claim victory in God and say God I love you more than this sin. That should be an easy answer. We have to be strong enough in our faith to turn to God and ask Him for help and grace. Not turn to Him after we sin and ask for forgiveness and grace but to do it before. God is almighty and came to free us and break the chains. We no longer have to be slaves to sin. And that is not a choice when we follow God it is a fact. He is there to help us and guide us and lead us away from temptation. We are lost without Him and will just keep falling and becoming more hard to our own sin and not realize the real damage and consequences of it till it is actually over. God gives us a spirit to know what is right and wrong. We don't have to try and guess it is obvious. The 2nd part to that is when it is wrong and against God we need to immediately walk away from it and turn to God. That's a lot easier said than done. When we give it to sin we are admitting to ourselves that God isn't strong enough and can't save us. We don't believe He has the power to take us away from the sin. 

If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:13-17 NIV). 

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. (1 John 1:7-10 NIV). 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— (Ephesians 2:8 NIV). 

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15 NIV). 

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? (1 Corinthians 3:16 NIV). 

God is here to save us right now not to be there whenever we feel it is convenient. We have to make the choice and follow through for all of our lives. 

Trust in The Lord

God has been faithful since the beginning of times and never let's us down. We may think sometimes that He is mean or doesn't give us what we want but God gives us more than we could ever know we want! Trusting someone is not easy and it really takes a lot of time. It can also easily be broken. When we trust God we give Him our worries and anxiety and most importantly CONTROL. We have to trust Him in this life and after this life. There is always more that He leads us into that we have to trust. He may call us to go somewhere scary or so something we don't want to do. God is in control though. We don't have a say. It is all on Him and He knows what He is doing. We have to release the control of wanting to know everything we are doing and when we are doing it and having a say of where our lives are going to go. When we give Him control we are usually or should be broken and that always God to work the most. He follows through and we have to also. We can't say well I will let you bless me and lead me like 90% of the time but when it is something I really want to do I am going to do it no matter what. 

Praise the Lord with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy. For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. (Psalm 33:2-6 NIV). 

He literally made the earth and everything in it I think He knows what He is doing! He can plan out our lives and everyone else's. Think how awesome it would be if everyone gave Him control and let Him plan out their lives! God would be so great at it! He wants to bless us! He truly does! Sometimes He just calls us to do hard things that our flesh may not be strong enough to handle but our hearts are! The joy of The Lord is my strength! We don't have to he scared as Paul said there is so much more work to do here in Christ but to die and be with Christ is also amazing! As christians we need to not complain that God calls is to do certain things we need to be joyful in doing them and excited! He chose us to do it! Let's be excited! Praise God! 

Always with God

I know people say this all the time and that you can't just go to church on Sundays and love your life with God from that but I don't think people actually take it in. God is supposed to live in us and be with us constantly. We are supposed let God take over control of our lives so doesn't that mean that no matter what we should be dwelling in Him? We should be feeling His perfect spirit constantly and moving in our lives and moving us towards Him. We should always no matter how much noise is around us feel like God is above all that and be able to hear Him over all other distractions this world brings. God loves that we set apart special time for Him but He loves even more that no matter what we can be found in Him and be able to always be in Him and not need to set aside any distractions or certain times of the day. It's like saying to a friend well I can only talk to you when no one else wants to talk to me or when I should be doing homework or chores or cleaning or playing games. If you play sports you should be able to do it in Christ the whole time and not say after the game I will spend time with You but right now I am in my own world. God is always our #1 priority there is no ifs ands or buts. He comes first. I am not saying 24/7 you can't do anything but read the Word and talk to God so that you can feel Him but you should be broken and acknowledge you need Him and be constantly dwelling in thoughts and love for Him! 

The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14 NIV). 

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV). 

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. (John 15:9 NIV). 

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. (Psalm 73:28 NIV). 

There may be days where I don't get to spend time with God besides my time in the morning with Him. Does that mean I sinned and am without God? No it means that that day God led me to other things but knew I would remain in Him and remain faithful and not doubt His great glory! There are other days that I may get to spend hours talking about God, worshipping Him and studying His word! Those days are so wonderful but no matter what I will be content in Him and dwell in Him and "feel" just as close no matter what! God stays in the same spot everyday we don't have to do a certain amount of hours or minutes of something to "feel" close that day we just have to have faith and love Him. 

Cheating on God

I once used this very image to try to teach kids that you should have no other gods. It is a very hard concept to explain and even as you get older can still be confusing. Idols is something I feel like gets talked about a lot and people don't really take into consideration what it really means. I am think of it as if you have a best friend and you are supposed to be committed to them or even a spouse and if you really love them (besides God) you aren't supposed to need anyone else or put anyone else first. Now it is not like biblical times when their idols were made out of wood and stone we don't struggle with that it is more the small things like even relationships, phones, school or temptations. 

During the reign of King Josiah, the Lord said to me, “Have you seen what faithless Israel has done? She has gone up on every high hill and under every spreading tree and has committed adultery there. I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery. Because Israel’s immorality mattered so little to her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and wood. Only acknowledge your guilt— you have rebelled against the Lord your God, you have scattered your favors to foreign gods under every spreading tree, and have not obeyed me,’ ” declares the Lord. “Return, faithless people,” declares the Lord, “for I am your husband. I will choose you—one from a town and two from a clan—and bring you to Zion. But like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you, Israel, have been unfaithful to me,” declares the Lord. Surely the idolatrous commotion on the hills and mountains is a deception; surely in the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel. From our youth shameful gods have consumed the fruits of our ancestors’ labor— their flocks and herds, their sons and daughters. Let us lie down in our shame, and let our disgrace cover us. We have sinned against the Lord our God, both we and our ancestors; from our youth till this day we have not obeyed the Lord our God.” (Jeremiah 3:6, 8, 9, 13, 14, 20, 23-25 NIV). 

I don't think we as humans even realize the hurt and sadness God has suffered. We think He is big enough not to be hurt by our sin, which He is, but we don't think of Him as actually having feeling or possibly being upset by our sin. We must acknowledge the depth of our sin and how deep it is and the way God wants to love us but our sin blocks that. Love and forgiveness from God is our deepest need. We need to cry out to God and long for Him. He needs to be our rock and we have to let Him be our rock. There is no back up plan. The only plan in our lives is God Almighty. There is also no better plan that we should want or long for. Sometimes sin can be pretty tempting but we have to turn to God immediately when tempted and say I love this or this is great but I choose YOU. He can stop us and give us the power to not be tempted. We have to win the victory and fight for our relationship with God. All relationships require work and communication. Our relationship with God is no different. He is always listening! He is worthy of it and my heart needs Him. We have to think of it as cheating on God and seeking His forgiveness. God is pretty amazing at forgiving us because of His Son Jesus but that doesn't mean that we should sin. With God we have the power to rise above this world and turn to God and go from being tempted to immediately praising God. Our spirit has to be connected to Gods and be able to put Gods first. If we let Him have control and be in charge we will win the fight. It is a fight in our lives that will never end but will continue to get easier by His grace. God is here to help us! He was here and tempted too! 

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15, 16 NIV). God is soooo here for us! He wants us to claim victory in Him! And we can't be victorious without Him. We have to make the decision in our hearts that God is more powerful and will heal our hearts and cleanse them of all impurities. Lets then turn to God and ask for help and receive His grace and mercy.