Not forgiving=bitterness=pain

There are studies that show that not forgiving people can literally cause pain in your life. You are holding on to resentment that God calls and COMMANDS us to let go of. He wants us to live in that forgiveness. Truly forgiving someone means moving on in loving them and praying for them and truly wanting the best. It means not bringing up that old pain whenever you feel like it. Forgiving takes time and it is only by the grace of God that we can even have the power to forgive. It is so not easy in any way! If it is something that you can't even bring yourself to talk about or mention that persons name without feeling pain and hurt all over again you truly haven't forgiven or let God rework your heart and life. He wants to use that pain for His glory and for greater purposes. He let that pain happen to you and that may seem harsh but He has a greater plan in that pain!

Truly forgiving someone means you have such a peace that you just trust God and don't get angry or negative anytime someone talks about that person. It means that you don't have to become angry every time you head their name. Wanting them to come to know The Lord if they haven't or to repent and restore their relationship with God. Because if we can't forgive them it is just as much a horrible and life long sin as what they did. That resentment will stay in your heart and lead you to bitterness and not having joy or being able to lead others to Christ. 

I wanted to share more of a personal story that I have become aware of as I have read Choosing Forgiveness. My oldest sister is in a relationship that doesn't honor God, she has lived with us for over a year after graduating college. I have my feelings about everything and its usually not positive. I feel like she is lazy and ungrateful. But reading the book I came to realize that I might actually be mad at her and holding it over that she lives with us and her relationship and not forgiving her. I am not leaving room in the relationship for growth or encouragement because I have so much bitterness. She can very easily put me in a bad mood and I am usually more quick to say something negative than positive. The bitterness I have is not allowing me to be a light in my family or show true love. It doesn't show Christs love when I don't love her appropriately. I am interfering in their relationships with God and saving them. She doesn't know God to start with so the bar is set very low and she probably doesn't think there is very much wrong and she doesn't feel loved by me either. I have been hurting myself in the process and having resentment against her. It isn't fair and it's not okay. I am starting over and going to allow God to work on me and show Christs light in my families lives. 

Challenge: think about whose lives you are hurting by holding on to something and not letting it go. Fix it. Don't let it keep wearing you down and taking you away from God each day. Not forgiving allows more sin to creep in. Take it to The Lord in prayer.